The blog's under construction now.
Things might look really ugly, so ugly that you'll want to ball your eyes out.
So read at your own risk.
Announcement Box

Hey there, thanks for visiting. The construction work for the blog has just finished except for one thing and that's the lounge section, as always. (For some reason, it's always incomplete)
For old viewers, here are what I've did to my blog, in case you didn't notice:
- removed Archive page cause it's high maintenance
- changed the gallery to an Instagram feed
- installed FontAwesome
- created a Music Player for the lounge, no longer do you need to look at millions of play buttons, just click and play
- newly written About page
- header image can now be changed but only for Home and inside of posts, toggle it away with the up arrow if you need to
- added different header images for all other pages
Have fun reading about me whining. ;)

Japorized

Mar 11, 2013

The place where wishes come true

Things are running up ahead, like a vehicle that has no brakes. Yet, I feel as if I hadn't moved at all... What is this weird feeling surging inside of me? I see my friends gone, going to different places, living separate lives. I see them flowing along with time, gracefully. I see them in pain at times, yet I see them grow. I'm glad that they did.
But, when I look at myself in the mirror, I asked,

"How much have you changed?"

I wonder that.


(Play this while reading)

I can't cheat on time. To stay this way, as if to always be standing here, I feel bad and guilty. I wish to chase those dreams once more, or should I say, to continue chasing it. The dreams I once held up to, the dreams that I've always kept repeating to myself, the dreams that I've always been sure of. But, will it stand against the test of evolution and time? As do places get developed, so do technology, so do science, so do nature, so do... people. And as that changes, will I still preserve my dream? Will it be necessary?

I have to admit, my vision has blurred.

Back then, I would've envisioned how things would be when I've finally realized my dreams. How will I keep everyday interesting with . . . , how will I raise my own family, how will I show appreciation to this world? But now, I... am somehow afraid to visualize these images. Somehow, they have become a nightmare. Somehow, it pains me to think of it. How will I be able to move on? With it, I feel pain all over, the chilling freeze piercing through my very heart. Without it, I am nothing, but an empty shell.

Once, I thought I was flying, reaching high, far away from many people around me. Looking back at it, was I blind, or dumb, or simply being a kid? Perhaps I did fly high once. But now, I'm here, sitting on the ground, my wings stain of mud, my body reek of dirt. Have I fallen? I guess so. Or have I always been sitting here? I guess so. To have stepped into this world, I found myself. . . . . . indifferent. This is a big world. Anyone can be simply wiped out from mind easily. But, can I really do that? Somehow, I treasure people, even though I've always said that I despise and hate people. There are so many people that had appeared in my life, and yet, more to come. But I doubt if I really did miss out any one of them when I think back. Their images can be blurry, but I do remember the times I had with them, even if it's back to my kindergarten days. I wasn't someone too sensitive back then. Was there some kind of warmth that I was offered by the people I've met? Sometimes, somehow, I felt there was.


About that dream of mine, well, it isn't some kind of grand or great ambition. I've never thought of things like getting into the Forbes' List, or becoming some kind of leader of a country, or even to own and power a multinational company. I only wish for a simple life, anything and everything else is secondary. And for my simple life, well, I don't really feel like sharing too much here. But I have the image of that well embedded in my mind. Perhaps the title of this blog post has already hinted what kind of simple life am I looking for, though the hint has to be researched and re-researched again.